Proud Mom

Do you find yourself thinking.. if I had this or that, I would be so happy?  Sometimes I do that.  On Friday afternoon my husband informed me the kids received their report cards.  How is this going to turn out I thought.  I have my expectations but sometimes there is a surprise.  As expected both did very well academically.  What really got me was they both received the highest marks for citizenship.  I look at it this way; I could have a smart kid but if he/she is a little jerk then what good is it?  My heart was filled with joy, true happiness.  I didn't care that I had to sit in an hour and a half in traffic that night, because I was one proud mom that night.  This is the type of thing that truly makes me happy.  All the fights to ensure homework is done.  The frustration or embarrassment when you have correct them from doing or saying something incorrect.  The exhaustion when all I want to just sit in quiet piece but I have help with a school project or talk with them about how to handle life situations.  These moments of happiness are our little reminders that we are on the right track.  

I was able to get myself on track this week and was down weight on weigh in day.  Shhheeesh, finally got my head out of the clouds.  Stress and worry really take hold of me mentally and I find food as a source of pushing it away.  NOT GOOD.  In general I have to work on making better life decisions that don't cause stress and worry to the point of over eating.  

I have a co worker that said her and her husband have made SMART goals for themselves and family.  What a great idea.  I think we are going to copy them and do that as well.  "A want without a plan, is just a wish". We need to come up with some action plans instead of just talking about it.  As we develop those plans I will share with you and our progress.  

It's Sunday, again

It is Sunday again.  I have gone two weeks without any umph.. (is that a word)?  You catch my drift.  Today I finally snapped out of it, hopefully.  Did some creative things with the kids even though one is recuperating from the flu.  I made fettuccine alfredo with low fat milk and it came out pretty good.  Let's be real though it still had a stick of butter and 15 oz of cheese in it.  I added some baked chicken breast to it.  So for my portion I put more chicken, little amount of noodles and a smudgy of sauce.  That is the nice thing about cooking at home, you have complete control of the situation.

During our Weight Watchers meeting one member said we go to the ends of the earth for our kids and we have to be willing to do that for ourselves.  That statement is what helped me snap out of my slump.  I am trying to understand why I have been unmotivated.  It seems the smallest little hick up in life throws me off the track.  I really need to become better at vocalizing my stress and what bothers me so I  don't get off course for so long.  Also, every time I feel stressed I need to get out and exercise.  Exercise is so great for the mind.  I know this logically but then sometimes I let the stress, worry, get the best of me.  It beats me.

Good thing, this is a journey in weight loss and health so I have tomorrow to make a difference in my life.

See ya'll next weekend.

Sheesh

Wow, I am sure glad this week is over. I was so stressed this week and gained 1 pound back.  I could feel that one pound too.  I barely exercised and snacked on a couple candy bars that I shouldn't have.  What in the past brought me comfort made me feel awful. On Saturday, I was back on track. I was craving the healthier food which was a nice surprise.
What is more frustrating is what stresses me out is really trivial. There are people who really struggle and I need to put things in perspective and calm down.

I was also getting frustrated because with work and picking my daughter up at the practice field I don't know when I have 30 min to get in some cardio.  I do walk at work but I want to get the kind of workout where I am really sweating.   Also, I need to clean, do laundry, etc. x1000.  Well after my pity party I came up with a plan. I will post next week if it works.

Lesson learned is to deal with the stress instead of pushing it away.  Pushing my issues away is exactly what drives me into the arms of food. Also, tracking my food is crucial. I didn't track all week because I temporarily lost my mind.

This week will be better, I believe it!

Trying to Keep Up the Momentum

Hello Friends,

This week I am down another pound.  Six pounds and counting.  I feel my mind and body getting comfortable with eating healthier.  I made cupcakes for a cupcake challenge we are having and I ate half of one to taste the finished product.  I really didn't want any more.  I didn't have talk myself out of eating more this time. My mind truly was satisfied with the couple bites I had.  Six months ago, I would have licked the bowl of the remaining batter (still is the best part), then continue on to eat 6, or 10, or a dozen during the course of the weekend.  Wow, I really must have hated myself.
The weekends activities were normal activities but added more exercise in it.  Instead of watching TV my daughter and I danced to DISCO music.  Disco I my absolute favorite music.  Oh and when "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire is on...Forget about it.... I am in a zone and dancing my heart out.  In reality I must look like Elaine from Seinfeld when I dance but I wish I looked like one of the dancers Saturday Night Fever.  Ha Ha..  Since it has cooled down we planted some mums for fall, pulled out an old dying tree, and ran around the back yard with my daughter.  Picking up bags of dirt, potting the plants, lifting pots and moving them was a workout but well worth it.  We have some color to look at now.  Also, some other extras were walking up and down the stairs to put the laundry away.  I would carry smaller loads up and down so I would have more stair climbs.  While dinner was cooking I did push-ups.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week.  We are so busy at work, thank goodness.  It makes the days go by fast.

A picture of my foot and Chloe's foot in the sand.  

Finally

Weighed in at Weight Watchers on Friday and I am down five pounds.. I am legitimately loosing weight.   That is a great feeling but I have so much to go.  A friend at work and I are going to attempt a half marathon in February.  I printed the training schedule and it is doable.  However, the training starts in five weeks and by then I have to be able to run/jog for 30 minutes, so the training guide says.  I jumped up this morning, went to the track and began running the straightaways and walking the curves.        Thighs burning, stomach and butt jiggling, nothing about this was enjoyable.  I wanted to just walk to my car and give up.  The run/walking lasted two laps but I completed my other six laps only walking.  I will credit myself that I did continue to walk as fast as a could.  OH GOODNESS, this girl has a long long way to go.  As I closed in on my eighth lap I was so happy.  I imaged how it would feel as my friend and I crossed the finish line of the half marathon together.

After that I came home and was hungry all day.  Anyone that has any eating tips for working out while trying to loose weight is appreciated here.  I want to be careful not to gain weight for obvious reasons.

On an extremely exciting note a good friend gave birth to her first baby and she's perfect in every way.  What a joy!

AHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, I have made it home from work to pick up my daughter from practice and I walk in the house and my daughter is going 100 miles an hour.... "Mom, Mom, Mom"  In my head I am thinking "shut up".  All I can do is take deep breath and whisper to her "Yes?"  She asked me about six questions in the matter of 10 seconds then before I can answer it is back to "Mom, Mom,  Mom".  By this point I want to scream like a two year old  throwing a tantrum.  Like roll around on the floor like a woman possessed, slobber all over the place, screaming and crying, have to take a nap afterward, kind  of tantrum..  My patience is gone.   It left some time around 3 p.m. today, I think.  I suggested to my darling daughter to take a bath and she took the bait.  My strategy was to get her into the bathtub and I can have five minutes without  anyone  asking me  for something.  I was wrong.  Just when I went to sit on the chair I hear "momma, can you help me with the shampoo bottle?"  Her voice sounds like one of those cartoon chipmunks, real high  pitched.  How could I resist  that cute voice..  How could I be irritated with her?

Things I noticed were that I had only eaten half my Weight Watcher points, so I was hungry and I hadn't exercised all  day. The exercise really relieves alot of stress.  I must not do these two things again.

Eye Opening

In 2009, it was estimated that over 100,000 new cases of  cancer  in the US could be attributed to obesity.  At  the same time, it is projected that 14% of all cancer deaths in men and 20% in women are caused by  excess weight.  Source: The Weight Watcher Research Department

I read this article and at the same time I was craving a Western Bacon Cheeseburger.   What the heck is wrong with me, I thought to myself.  My eating habits could cause me to get cancer.  I do have an extensive family history of cancer but wow, today this hit me.  My  own mother died of cancer.   She was healthy  though.  She wasn't obese, wasn't a smoker, had the occasional glass of wine and she was killed by cancer. I saw cancer steal her life away before  my eyes over eight tragic months. Today it hit me, this too could happen to  me all because of food.  I don't want my kids not  having their mother around when they are getting ready for prom, going off to college, marrying the love of their life.  Everytime I want to eat something that is unhealthy I need to remember this so I don't guarantee an early departure from this life I have.

Thick Skull

Okay, last week  just sucked  to be honest. I didn't "cheat" as far as going out to eat fast food but I didn't track my food intake like Weight Watchers teaches you.  My thoughts were "I got this, this is easy".  However 2 point or 3 point snacks here and there along with meals will put  you over your points before dinner.  So on my weigh in day I only lost .8 lbs.  That is ridiculous considering how much have to lose and if I had tracked my points more carefully I would have been down at least 2 more pounds.  UG.. Me and my stubborness, thinking I can do things my way.  Today was a new day. I tracked everything I ate and when I weighed myself this evening I was 3 pounds less than I was in the morning.  Now if it would just cool down a bit I could get out after work and do some real cardio.  This heat literally zaps me.  Thank goodness for a friend at work we do walk early in the morning before the heat sets in.

My other endenovor is to save money.  We only use cash to buy anything.  Nothing on credit.  I will  be 40 in two years and I don't want to be working 50 hours a week until I am 65.  I want to pay our house off to be free of our largest financial obligation.  I am terrified that my husband and I could lose our job at any time and then we could lose everything.  :-(  Working everyday, missing my kids, would all be for nothing if we lost our house because one of us lost our jobs.

I would like to mention that my husband is a real source of support in my weight  loss journey.  He has been working out hard everyday for eight weeks never giving up.  It is so nice to have my husband on the same path as me.

Confused

I got a case of the Monday's.  I can honestly tell you I never had a case of the Monday's until about six months ago.  I wake up about 4 am and think " oh my, how can I get out of going to work today". But I get up and go any way.  I have been with the company a total of 13 years. Maybe it is time for a change. Sadly I have no idea what to do. I used to drive to work excited to get there to start the day. Not so much anymore.  Maybe I need to change..  Not sure what is going on with me.  Maybe because I am not living to work and I am working to live now.  Maybe because I have other focuses like getting healthy, paying attention to my kids that that the satisfaction I found from my job is just not there anymore.  It looks like I need to do some soul searching.

Below my Weight Watcher points today.  Walked 1.6 miles. Need to get in a longer workout. Not tonight, I had to stop at Target for soap.  Buuuut, we all know if you're in Target by yourself there is a force field that draws you in.  You see all the cute Halloween decorations, all the cute home decor, oh and don't forget the clearance racks. You can score big time on the clearance items if you have patience.  So I forfeited an extra workout for Target shopping. Got out of there under $30.00. Saweet!
I am down another pound from Friday.  Hoping to see a dramatic change in my appearance by January   .

Celebrate!

This weekend we celebrated my husband's sister' birthday.  It was a milestone birthday so it was extra special.  Her son threw a great party and the entire family was there.  Four generations celebrating together.  For someone like me that doesn't have my extended family living close this was special to be a part of.  One thing I admire about my sister-in-law is that she always has a smile on her face.  She's always happy to see you. Always interested to know what you're up too.  She is soft spoken but the life of the party at the same time.  I wish her a life time of happiness.

On the diet front... I am a loser!  I lost 2.7 lbs the first week.  Over all it was a good week. However on Saturday night, I had three tacos but about six beers.. Ouch many, many calories.  This week I will have to pick up the cardio and work those off.  Sunday afternoon I began looking at fashion websites daydreaming for the day I will fit in some of the clothes I love so much.

EW!

EW!  I just looked at myself in the mirror, I mean really looked at myself and all I can think is EW!  How did I let myself get this over weight, this out of shape?  Neglect is how. Instead of dealing with issues I shove food down my throat. If you think about that sentence it all seems so stupid. Why would I choose food instead of dealing with things?  Am I a coward, am I scared?  Maybe a mix of both.
Well tomorrow marks my first complete week with the Weight Watcher program so I am excited to see what my first week results are.  Today I was under my points again and walked 1.4 miles.  I wish for my continued pursuit of health and fitness..

Slap in the face

Today I got a slap in the face reminder why I am on this mission of health. Even though I feel a bit stressed I was able to stay the course and not emotionally eat because I am reminded of what will happen to me.  I stayed within my Weight Watcher points today but only got a mile of walking in.  I even made my kids chocolate chip pancakes and I didn't even have one bite..  (pat on my back)..
Looking forward to buying cuter, smaller clothes. I day dream about wearing skirts again.

Unrelated topic- One of my favorite shows is "Watch What Happens Live" on Bravo.  I just love Andy Cohen. I always wanted a brother growing up and he would have been the perfect one.  He is funny and sarcastic. I also love Jeff Lewis from "Flipping Out". He is funny and little bit evil.  My favorite type of people.

Pssst, it's Tuesday

I was sure it was already Wednesday when I woke up today... Bummer. It is only Tuesday.  Today was an easy day.  Didn't eat much and am way under my points.  Not sure if that is good or bad but i am not hungry today. Walked a mile at work and a mile at the park with my daughter after work. I cherish these times with her because she still calls me mommy and wants to hold hands when we walk. She is starting to experience friends being nice then all of sudden their mean and she doesn't know why. I want to protect her from the world but the most I can do is teach her and show her how to become a strong, confident woman so she can handle these tough situations that young children go through.
I noticed as we were walking I kept thinking "I should go home. I need to cook dinner, etc., etc.". I didn't leave until my mile was complete. I have to remember that this is for my health and I can't give up because there is a load of laundry waiting for me. That stuff can wait.   Now on to my laundry and lunches for tomorrow.

Not Much

Okay, it is Monday... A friend from work and I took two breaks and walked a total of two miles..   Exercising is way, way less awful when you have some to talk to..  Other than that, I stayed within my Weight Watcher points and I am down 1 more pound since Friday.   My husband asked if I could stop and pick up some Drain-o for our shower.  All I could think of was eating a roll smothered in butter.  I thought I will walk in Von's, pick up one sour dough roll and eat it.  No one will know right?  Ah, ha but my butt will know :-(..   Instead, I did get some Hawaiian bread for the family since we were having soup for dinner.  I had one piece, which is five points, still under my points. See the old me would have had a roll at the store, then more bread at home.  Wow it is weird to admit that.  Kind of like confessing to a lie. Well another day down and many, many more to go. Looking forward to weight loss success and good health.

Nice People

I love nice people, especially in customer service. Today I went to the Corona Walmart to do my normal grocery shopping and I needed to place a special order for cupcakes.  Norma was working the bakery and helped me pick out something that was not in her catalog. She even brought out a sample of the products she would be using so I was sure about my order.  What a nice lady!  So for my friends in Corona, be sure to ask for Norma if you need help in the bakery. :-)
While I was in the bakery, I didn't have a weak moment and get a couple cookies. (pat on my back). I did however purchase turkey jerky. Oh goodness that sounds funny, turkey jerky,  but it was good. And it satisfied my hunger.  No exercise today, unless you count pushing my grocery cart up a slight hill all the way to the back of the parking lot.

Setting an Example

Something hit me about a month ago... Raising kids is leading by example for sure. It is easy to tell them what to do. However, they will follow in your footsteps based on your actions you have displayed over their life time.  The reason I say this, is my mother-in-law has lived a healthy, active lifestyle and her example has inspired me at 38.  With that said my husband and I have made a mission this year of health.  We both quit smoking in January and have remained quitters :-).  Oh and for those who say quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroine is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
We have moved on to working out and eating healthy.  Losing weight is like quitting smoking. We both had to figure out what causes us to crave the bad food and consciously over eat.  I think my cause started when my mom died.  (After 20 years, I realize this).  To deal with pain I stuffed it down with food.
We noticed through this the kids are the ones supporting us. Alex will say "Dad, you're looking smaller" or "Mom, are you working out today?". That is such motivation to stay the course. We are both down ten pounds. It is a slow process but worth it.  Most important I hope the kids see that eating right and excercise is part of a health, good life.

Time Flies

After looking through some old photos, this pictures was taken four years ago.  Time flies and my silly little babies are growing up.. (sniff, sniff).. Where's the pause button?

I Am A Quiter

About three weeks ago my husband and I watched a documentary, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Very motivating. We started juicing that day and have noticed we feel better overall. The same day we quit smoking. Really! All on the same day. First week was easy. Second week was alright. Now I crave cigarette every moment these past couple days. I won't be around other smokers for fear I can't remain a Quiter. I wonder is this what drug addicts go through? This is so not fair. Why does smoking have to kill you? I actually enjoy smoking. This was the one thing I did once everyone was tucked away in bed and I had ten minutes to myself. I need to find an outlet to relax and unwind! I am sure more excercise is the answer. I hope I can remain a Quiter.

I didn't get flowers for Valentine's Day

Driving to work this morning in fog laden foothills I started thinking about the meaning of Valentine's Day. I am one of those people who think it is a commercial holiday for companies to make money. With that being said... in our super busy lives isn't nice to have a reminder to tell the people you cherish the most how much you love and appreciate them. So Many of us are raising a family, working a full time job, etc. that life gets in the way. Daily chores and responsibilities cloud our vision of what is truely important. I Did Not Get Flowers today but what I did get, let me re-phrase, what I do have, is a husband that gets up at 2 am everyday to go to work and waits up for me to get home from work because he wants to spend time with me. He helps the kids with homework, makes dinner, etc. to lighten my load at home. I realize today I have relationship that will continue to grow and bloom throughout our lives. So I don't have flowers to display to the world that I have Valentine but I do have a special bond with a special man. Thank you St. Valentine for this reminder.

Happy New Adventures

My son Alex on the left side of the photo helping demo.

The retiling of the fire place begins with the demo.. ug what a pain.. Thank goodness for my husband and his nephew, they did all the hard labor getting rid of the old tile and the old mastic. I will post more on the finished project when I can get some good light.

So I have a discovered I have a new passion.  I love small DIY projects around my house.  I am so excited to start on a new one that I feel like a child waiting in line to get into Disneyland.  (I wish I was this excited to work out).  We have completed some small projects like re-tiling the fire place and painting the fire place wall.  I just painted this pony wall that separates the family room from the kitchen.   On to a more ambitious job, that is to put up some wainscoting in this awkward niche between my stairwell and my downstairs closet.  I will take some before and after photos to keep you posted on my progress.  I found my inspiration from Thrifty Decor Chick's blog and some others, but Thrifty Decor Chick has to be the best decorating blog out there.  She shows you how to do it with pictures.. Good for me since I am visual learner.